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August 14, 2007

Will Generation Y Have Love Letters to Remind Them?

A very touching column in Sunday's Atlanta-Journal Constitution by Theresa Walsh Giarrusso, who found old love letters as she and her husband were packing to move.  She wonders whether the next generation will have this experience or whether it will be lost in old email files.  Opening up Gmail simply is not as romantic.

"While we were packing up our house to move, my husband ran across a box of old love letters. Some were from me to Michael. Some were from Michael’s father when he was stationed overseas and some were from Michael’s mother before her death. There were also a few from Michael’s high-school girlfriends.  ...

"I asked my brother-in-law’s 26-year-old girlfriend if she had any love letters. She said they were all on e-mail. She said about the only paper mail she sends anymore is postcards from where she’s traveled.

"I think it’s sad that if my brother-in-law does marry this girl they won’t have any tangible evidence of their early affection - at least none that they won’t have to print out first.

"Although better organized, it’s not quite as romantic to open up your laptop and search your Gmail database for a letter. Part of the pleasure is running across love letters and letting your mind slip back to another time.  ..."

You can read the rest at Atlanta-Journal Constitution.

Turn off e-mail when expressing love

Will children today know the joy of reading old handwritten love letters? Do you save notes and cards for your children?

While we were packing up our house to move, my husband ran across a box of old love letters. Some were from me to Michael. Some were from Michael’s father when he was stationed overseas and some were from Michael’s mother before her death. There were also a few from Michael’s high-school girlfriends.

As we sat there reading, I started to wonder whether our children’s generation would ever have the pleasure of receiving, and later finding, hand-written love letters.

E-mail is so ubiquitous these days that I’m not even sure the generation directly behind mine (Generation Y) will have these precious mementos.

I’m not against e-mail in general. I think it’s great for business, bills and organizing book club meetings. However, if my husband is going to tell me he loves me I want it handwritten and with character.

I asked my brother-in-law’s 26-year-old girlfriend if she had any love letters. She said they were all on e-mail. She said about the only paper mail she sends anymore is postcards from where she’s traveled.

I think it’s sad that if my brother-in-law does marry this girl they won’t have any tangible evidence of their early affection - at least none that they won’t have to print out first.

Although better organized, it’s not quite as romantic to open up your laptop and search your Gmail database for a letter. Part of the pleasure is running across love letters and letting your mind slip back to another time.

My husband discovered several letters that I wrote him from Italy. I studied abroad the first summer after we met and was just miserable without him. The letters were all sent on blue folding Aerogrammes with Vatican stamps and postmarks. There is tiny writing running in all directions where I tried to squeeze in the most possible words.

We also found a hand-made Valentine’s card from me to Michael from a couple of years ago. It was based on a Valentine’s Day card that Lisa Simpson made for Ralph Wiggum on “The Simpsons.” It had a construction paper train on the front and inside said “I choo-choo-choose you!” I don’t think that would play the same on a computer.

We found piles of cards and letters from his mother, who died while he was in college. She wrote him how much she loved him and asked him to take care of his brother. The letters reflected all their moves with postmarks from around the country and the world. But I really think what broke him up the most was seeing his mother’s handwriting again.

I am determined to have a trail of love letters and cards for my children. Even if they never get them from their future wife or husband, at least they’ll have these hand-written notes of affection from us.

When I went to the hospital to have each baby I wrote letters to my children telling them how much they meant to me, and what I hoped for each of them. I think in years to come they’ll treasure having these written testaments of love.

I am committing to doing a better job writing them cards and actually keeping up with them. My mother has a pile of cards from her deceased mother. She always dates her envelopes, just like her grandmother did, so you’ll always know what birthday or anniversary they were from. I know reading her mother’s cards and letters make her sad, but I think they also are a comfort to her.

I want the same for my children. I want — long after I’m gone — for them to be able to turn time and time again to my handwritten letters reassuring them how much I love them and how special they are.

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ABOUT AUTHOR

  • Roger Matus is Executive Vice President of Safecore, Inc. of Burlington, Mass., founder of InBoxer, and a well-known commentator on the use of email, IM, and messaging technologies.



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